Thankfully while being addicted most of my life, I haven’t lost the natural urge to have sex with real women. Getting it up is a struggle, but once it is I can gain pleasure having sex. Ejaculation is of course non-existent, however I do feel pleasure. The problem with not ejaculating during sex is the sense that the ‘big ending’ has not been reached. This often confuses sexual partners. It feels a lot like edging but far worst. Masturbating, reaching the climax but preventing ejaculation is edging. Sex however, is having intercourse but never coming close to climax, let alone ejaculation. So after sex, the urge to have an orgasm is far stronger because I feel as if I have to finish what I started with my sexual partner. Sex became a routine which starts with a real woman and ends with a virtual one.
On the journey, abstaining from sex would be ideal. The immense urge it causes makes relapse only a matter of time. It’s far more worse than ‘edging’. It also affects others as they question what is going on. The natural urges of wanting sexual intercourse will be there. I am probably lucky to even have that natural urge with my years of indulging in virtual women, but sex doesn’t help the cause to an addiction-free life.
Masturbation is an alternative. This might be a rare occasion where masturbation is a good thing and sex is a bad thing. To masturbate and not use visual aid can help overcome the addiction and satisfy natural urges. The problem with masturbation is being in the perfect position to relapse. This is only one of many alternatives and I will explore others. Masturbation is just the closest to the reward that ends the vicious cycle but not something to depend on.
But now the question is, when would be a good time to return to having sex? I suppose when I have abstained from explicit material for a lengthy period. Possibly 90 days, a time frame inspired by the NoFap community. Sex is hindering the progress and affecting others. The goal would be to return to sex with a healthy mind and to be able to ejaculate like any normal man.