Auditing myself has made me come to the conclusion; Loneliness and lack of achievement are the root causes of my addiction.
The root of the problem means understanding the causes and basis of a problem. In this case, understanding the cause as to why I watch explicit material every morning and evening.
I don’t get any urges while I am around other people and outdoors. The times I get urges are when I am alone. It creeps into thoughts and the fight begins.
Is loneliness the root of the problem for everyone? The NoFap community have endless stories referring to intimacy; breaking up, trouble speaking to women, sexual issues and even confidence to look at a woman’s eyes.
Lack of achievement
I do not feel like I have achieved much in my life. I haven’t tried to build anything. Haven’t pushed myself out of the comfort zone. I haven’t taken a big risk and succeeded, OR fail! Failing is better than nothing!
At 15, I knew what I wanted to do in my life. I wanted to be a graphic designer and that’s what I currently do. Saying what you’re going to be at that age and doing it is actually quite an achievement, but I haven’t worked on anything that I can say I am proud of. At this moment, this project, ‘My P Memoir’, is something I am most proud of.
It’s very easy for me to play a video game for an entire day, or watch countless hours of YouTube videos or Twitch live streams… or stay in bed due to a hangover. In the end, I become disappointed with myself for not doing the things I should be doing, which is fulfilling my dreams (linking to lack of achievements).
Addressing the root of the problem is a massive step to recovery. Not only do I think I am on the right road to recovery, but I am also learning more about myself.
This isn’t the end of addressing the root of the problem.