Relapse

relapse

Defeated.
Right back to zero.
Depressed.

I was doing so well! Why did I let this happen!?
The sudden realisation that I let myself down.
Stupid Harry, so stupid.

I’ve reached a fork in the road.

I could continue feeling upset but proud. Proud that I have managed to go on a streak without relapse and have a brief period watching the stuff I have been hooked on most my life. I’ve proven I can go a lengthy period without it. Maybe next time, when I get the motivation to go at it in full force, I can go even longer. But for now, since I am at zero again, I could go on a binge.

No.

I could continue feeling upset but proud. Proud that I have managed to go on a streak without relapse. It is better to get back on the road to freedom immediately after falling over. I’ve proven I can go a lengthy period without it, why not start another lengthy period right now. It is not motivation that is required, it is discipline, I can go even longer. Since I am at zero again, I could go on a binge, a binge of wins.

Relapses are just very brief losses in between lengthy winning runs.

 

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