Tuesday, 31 January 2017

Bad Solutions

It can get desperate at times to overcome the addiction. There were times I would try anything to overcome it, as long as it didn’t involve telling others about it.

Here are some bad ideas that I have tried in-order to overcome my addiction:

Willpower (cold turkey)
Changing the routine by using discipline and time. Willpower is required to break a habit but relying solely on willpower doesn’t work. What willpower bring is the satisfaction of not doing the old routine. It doesn’t solve the bigger problem, relief of the lack of intimacy and achievement.

Finding ‘temporary love’
A ‘one night stand’ is an extremely short-term solution to the problem and could potentially create more problems. I felt worse after a one night stand. As stated in previous blog posts, I have never ejaculated during sex. Good news is the woman don’t care much whether I do or not. She’s more focused on her pleasure. But I do care. There is no love in proper one night stands, it is just lust, which is why it doesn’t solve anything. I also felt more lonely afterwards.

Swapping Addictions
Swapping an addiction for another. For me this was video games. I played games for most of the hours in the day to distract me from the urges. Eventually not only was I addicted to porn, I was also addicted to video games and mindlessly investing hours (and money) into playing them.

Edging
Edging is watching explicit content without masturbating and/or ejaculating. This makes the urges even worst. The assumption is I watch it hoping the images in my mind will stop haunting me or the urges would calm down. Unfortunately it does not.

Masturbation
This didn’t work because eventually it gets to a point I feel like I am wasting my time. It takes longer to get the reward (an orgasm) and using my imagination is more effort. I’m already in perfect position to relapse too.

Parental Control
Most effective if someone else sets it up for you. However I believe there is no parental control app that can block 100% of explicit material online at the moment. The most determined addict, such as myself, can find a website that slips through the crack.

Ultimately all six of these are just me running away from the real issues I should be addressing, which is why. Why am I feeling this way? What am I running away from? How do I stop running?

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